Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Wrigley Field Bleachers: Evolution of a Zoo

Today a prominent Cubs blogger put up a large front page post regarding the zoo that is the Wrigley Field bleachers. He offers some advice to the new Cubs' management on ways to fix the out-of-control outfield seating area, mainly focusing on increasing security presence, reducing overall alcohol sales, and ending discount ticket pricing for college students.

(You did read that last one correctly, he really does want to make sure those pesky college kids have to pay the full $25 for a bleacher ticket instead of $17. That'll show 'em! If there's one thing college kids are known for, it's making wise financial decisions regarding alcohol consumption.)

The gist of the article can be summarized with this:

It's not a party. It's a baseball game, and most of us are there to watch the baseball game. We should not have our afternoon or evening ruined by drunks who, essentially, are paying a $40 or $50 cover charge to sit in bleacher seats (or worse, stand and block everyone's view) and drink until they are plastered.
Yeah! It's not a party! It's a baseball game! The stealthy transition of the Bud Light Bleachers into a lewd and debaucherous fraternity atmosphere may have slipped past some of you, but not everyone.

We all know that as of August 15, 2009, there were no widespread problems in the Wrigley Field bleachers. Why? Because the same prominent Cubs blogger told us so:



(Names and faces have been blurred to protect the ignorant)

But things have changed. It is no longer August of 2009. It's May of 2010. The world has changed. There was an earthquake in Haiti. Google pulled out of China. We know who Jacob from LOST is, kind of. And the days of family fun in the Wrigley Field bleachers are over. We've gone from this:



to this:



A freaking zoo, people! I only wish we could go back to that innocent time back in August of 2009, just days after lovable bleacher bum Johhny Macchione kindly offered to share an Old Style with Shane Victorino. But that's a Friendly Confines that just doesn't exist anymore. Wake up, everyone. Times have changed. That was a whole 39 home games ago.

So thank you, anonymous Cubs blogger, for having the courage to stand up to these animals who have invaded Wrigley Field since the end of last season. They caught us all off guard. You wouldn't know this if you're not there every single day, but a lot can change in nine months.

2 Comments:

Adam said...

That's awesome. Yeah, before the Ricketts could install the Toyota sign, they must have made some other adjustments to the bleachers themselves to turn everyone there into raging savage beasts. There has to be something to blame for the dramatic shift in behavior, and it must be especially subtle for it to get past the shrewd eyes of the aforementioned anonymous blogger.

Kiefer said...

Fantastic, GBTS. I was thinking about that very kerfuffle with Pal Melon when he wrote his latest entry.

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