Thursday, March 3, 2011

Carlos Zambrano Fails Again

In his recap of the Cubs 8-7 loss in Mesa, Paul Sullivan astutely points out that the fault lies with Carlos Zambrano. Z left after three innings of scoreless work and a 1-0 lead, but mentioned afterwards that his arm felt fatigued after the start.

There are two reasons why this loss is his fault. The first, of course, being that it is inexcusable for a starting pitcher to have a tired arm in the first week of spring training. In fact, it is unheard of. If Z is not in physical shape to throw complete game shutouts in early March, then he is of no help to this team. You know who is ready to throw complete game shutouts right now? Koyie Hill.

The second reason why this loss is on Z (and remember, this is clearly the most important story to be told from today's game) is because despite succeeding in not allowing any members of the opposing team to score, he himself failed to drive in any runs. Everyone knows that the Cubs are so bad on defense that a one-run lead is essentially worthless. If Z really cared about his team's chances of winning, he would have gone out there and knocked in a couple himself. Right Paul?

...okay, now I'm just confused.

2 Comments:

Marco said...

HAHA, good read. But what a fucking dumbass Paul Sullivan is. Hitting has nothing to do with pitching, especially when it relates to fatigue. If a pitcher throws 9 innings, the fatigue in the arm/shoulder won't affect his ability to hit - it's a different motion. You think that the asshole would know that since it's his fucking job.

Unknown said...

THIS is satire done well, sir.

Thank you for this.

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