Your Interest Interests Me

Apparently, a few weeks ago the San Francisco Giants were interested in acquiring Ryan Theriot, who is arguably the worst regular starter in the entire National League.

No, seriously. Ryan Theriot has the lowest OPS of any player in the National League who has had 300 plate appearances or more.

Ryan Theriot has the lowest cumulative WPA of any player in baseball.

Ryan Theriot has the lowest ISO of any player in baseball.

The only player in the NL with as many plate appearances as Theriot and a lower wOBA is Nyjer Morgan.

The only player in the NL with as many plate appearances as Theriot and less WAR is Raul Ibanez.

(Cub fans may also know Raul Ibanez as THE GUY WHO JIMBO SHOULD HAVE GIVEN $30 MILLION TO INSTEAD OF MILTON BRADLEY FIRE HENDRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!)

If anyone is willing to give anything for Ryan Theriot, and I mean ANYTHING, the Cubs need to jump on it. Immediately.

In fact, if you're reading this Brian Sabean, I just want you to know that to save you airfare I am offering to personally drive Mr. Theriot to San Francisco should you trade for him. All I ask is that you split gas money.

(hat tip to PFD over at Another Cubs Blog)