Carlos Must Go

UPDATE: I forgot to give a h/t to Aisle 424 for bringing my attention to the Rosenbloom piece earlier this offseason, cause I sure as hell don't read Steve Rosenbloom on my own.

By now I'm sure anyone reading this is aware that a dugout scuffle between Carlos Silva and Aramis Ramirez had to be broken up after a disastrous first inning against Milwaukee today. After giving up several runs along with three defensive errors behind him, Silva apparently returned to the dugout angry and words were exchanged.

Carlos must be held accountable. This type of behavior is simply unnaceptable on a major league roster, and after all, Carlos has a reputation. After a few spring training games, we can clearly see that nothing has changed with the addition of Carlos. Time to cut ties.

Yes, Carlos Pena must go.

You'll recall from the offseason that Pena was signed solely to play the part of Jaime Escalante in the rowdy, out-of-control Cub clubhouse. Steve Rosenbloom heard from former Playgirl model Steve Stone (h/t to Another Cubs Blog) why the Cubs shelled out $10 million for Pena:

The Cubs signed Pena to provide a strong Latin presence in a clubhouse screaming for something more adult than Zambrano’s screaming. But it’s more than Zambrano. There’s Alfonso Soriano, who supposedly ruined Felix Pie by teaching him every bad party habit. There’s Aramis Ramirez, who refuses to dive for balls, and isn’t that a great example? There’s a history here that goes back to kicking out Mark Grace and turning over the clubhouse to Sammy Sosa, the ultimate team play -- no, wait, never mind.

The Cubs recognized how the latin faction had overridden the clubhouse and posed a threat to their up-and-coming latin youngsters, Starlin Castro and Geovany Soto. They were still salvageable from the latin stink of Zambrano and company and still had a chance to be successful. So the Cubs went out and bought the happiest, friendliest latin that money could buy to protect them and change the poisonous clubhouse atmosphere.

There's the dangerous and selfish Carlos Zambrano who needs anger management to function as a human being. There's Alfonso Soriano, who the Cubs feared would teach Castro and Soto how to party all night at seedy latin clubs (instead of learning how to party the right way from Randy Wells: body shots off of Trixies at Red Ivy). Of course there's Aramis Ramirez, involved in the altercation today, who sets a negative example for the kids by just flat out REFUSING to dive for balls on defense:

Señor Pena, I'm disappointed. You were supposed to change things. The latins are as rowdy as ever. What are we paying you for? Won't someone please think of prospects?

"How do I reach deez keeds?"

Fail Will Be Made

Memorial Day Mega Recap

I'll be completely honest: I saw very little, if any Cubs' baseball this holiday weekend. Apparently, that was a good idea. I'm going to try and blow through this recap quickly before the Blackhawks game starts.

5/29: Cubs 5, Cardinals 0

Cubs' MVP: Carlos Silva, .315 WPA (.343 pitching)
Silva was flat-out dominant on Saturday afternoon, pitching seven shutout innings and allowing only two baserunners the entire game. He also rung up eleven Cardinals, a career high for the portly right-hander with a career 3.90 K/9. He even struck out Albert Pujols. Seriously.

Silva's sinker was superb. He threw it 50 times, 34 for strikes. The win dropped Silva's FIP and xFIP down to 3.80 and 3.86, respectively.

Cardinals' MVP: Brendan Ryan (.034 WPA)
This is a perfect demonstration of how dominant Silva and the Cubs were Saturday: Brendan Ryan improved his team's odds of winning by 3.4 percent...and that was the best on the team.

I'm not even going to bother writing up the LVPs of this game (Adam Ottovino and Derrek Lee, if you're keeping track at home) because quite frankly they didn't matter at all.

5/30: Cardinals 9, Cubs 1

Cubs' MVP: Alfonso Soriano, .129 WPA
Soriano's team-leading 10th game MVP was one of the lone highlights for the Cubs on Sunday. Soriano had a walk and a double in the fourth that put the Cubs right back into the game.

Cardinals' MVP: Albert Pujols, .276 WPA
Pujols officially came out of his "slump" belting three home runs, walking twice (one intentional), and driving in four. The one in the fifth inning went a True Distance of 446 feet according to HitTracker, the longest home run hit at Wrigley this season by someone other than Marlon Byrd. His shot in the first onto Waveland measured at 441 feet. An honorary mention goes to Adam Wainright, who compiled a .251 WPA (.313 on the mound) by pitching seven innings of one run ball.

Cubs' LVP: Starlin Castro, -.232 WPA
Castro had the worst game of any Cub despite going 2-3. He singled in the second inning, but Aramis Ramirez was cut down at the plate (-.048 WPA). Hardly his fault. But his double play with the bases loaded that ended the fourth inning essentially ended any chance the Cubs had of winning this game. That, and when Albert Pujols safely arrived at Wrigley Field. The .232 WPA is the third worst game performance for a Cubs' hitter this season.

Cardinals' LVP: Jonathan Jay, -.065
I'll be totally honest, I had never heard of Jonathan Jay before this game and I'm still not quite sure who he is. Jay went 1-5 with two strikeouts.

5/31: Pirates 2, Cubs 1

Cubs' MVP: Randy Wells, .290 WPA (.301 pitching)
Wells pitched an excellent game today, bouncing back from his woeful start three days ago. On Friday (albeit just sixteen pitches) Wells was tossing up batting practice pitches with very little movement:

Wells had significantly better location and movement in Pittsburgh today, and better results followed.

Wells only lasted five innings but was in line for the all important win before the bullpen surrendered the lead.

Pirates' MVP: Bobby Crosby, .276 WPA
Crosby had the biggest hit of the game, a two-out pinch hit RBI single in the eighth that was the difference in the game.

Props to the unhittable Ross Ohlendorf, who compiled a .278 WPA on the mound this afternoon. On the season, Ohlendorf is sporting an impressive 6.23 xFIP and a stellar 6.57 BB/9 ratio. Here's something else you may not have known: when batters swing at Ross Ohlendorf's pitches inside the strike zone, they make contact 95.8% of the time (Z-Contact%). That is the worst percentage of all NL pitchers with a minimum 20 IP.

So he walks almost seven batters per nine innings, and his stuff is hittable. Naturally, he threw seven innings of three-hit ball, walking only two, and struck out six. It's a way of life.

Cubs' LVP: Sean Marshall, -.259 WPA
Marshall gave up the aforementioned hit to Crosby, which turned out to be the game-winner. Kudos to Aramis Ramirez, who had another 0-fer today with two strikeouts (-.170 WPA).

Pirates' LVP: Andy LaRoche, -.161 WPA
I can't in good conscience give  LaRoche an LVP Award. While he had a poor game at the plate, going 0-3 and ending two innings with runners in scoring position, LaRoche made an incredible defensive play in the eighth inning to keep the game tied, which was the third act in another installment of "How Can We Not Score With a Man In Scoring Position And Zero Outs?"