Corporatism at its finest

Two of the most shamed corporations in the world make their Wrigley Field debut today.

Don't miss "Bring Your Child to the Ballpark" day next week, sponsored by the Catholic church.

10 Epic Wrigley Home Runs, 1-5

See 10-6 here

#5 Marlon Byrd
4/30/10 off Kevin Mulvey
True Distance: 463 happy feet


#4 Milton Bradley
5/12/09 off Jake Peavy
True Distance: 464 mercurial feet


#3 Prince Fielder
9/16/08 off Ryan Dempster
True Distance: 465 feet


#2 Adam Dunn
4/16/08 off Kevin Hart
True Distance: 467 feet


#1 Adam Dunn
7/10/08 off Jon Lieber
True Distance: 486 feet

The 10 Most Epic Wrigley Field Home Runs, 2008-Present (10-6)

Courtesty of Hit Tracker, here are the 10 longest home runs at Wrigley Field since the start of the 2008 season. Why 2008? Because that's the earliest year where I can pull video of the actual home runs, and let's face it, nobody wants to read about really long dingers. People want to see really long dingers.

Hit Tracker uses atmospheric and observational data to determine how far a home run would have gone if its path was unobstructed and landed back at field level. The method to their madness is detailed here.

So nobody has a brain aneurysm from all the gifs, I've split the post into two. Here's 10-6. Follow the link at the bottom for 5-1.

Click on the player's name to see the full video. Click on True Distance to see Hit Tracker's flight representation of the home run.

And away we go:

#10 (tie). Carlos Lee
7/27/09 off Carlos Zambrano
True Distance: 451 feet


Chris Young
10/2/09 off Tom Gorzelanny
True Distance: 451 feet


#9 Alfonso Soriano
5/14/08 off Jake Peavy
True Distance: 453 happy feet 


#8 Derrek Lee 
7/02/09 off Chris Smith
True Distance: 455 happy feet


#7 Marlon Byrd
April 15, 2010 off Jeff Suppan
True Distance: 457 feet


#6 Lance Berkman
5/16/09 off Kevin Gregg
True Distance: 460 feet


5-1 here

The Wrigley Field Bleachers: Evolution of a Zoo

Today a prominent Cubs blogger put up a large front page post regarding the zoo that is the Wrigley Field bleachers. He offers some advice to the new Cubs' management on ways to fix the out-of-control outfield seating area, mainly focusing on increasing security presence, reducing overall alcohol sales, and ending discount ticket pricing for college students.

(You did read that last one correctly, he really does want to make sure those pesky college kids have to pay the full $25 for a bleacher ticket instead of $17. That'll show 'em! If there's one thing college kids are known for, it's making wise financial decisions regarding alcohol consumption.)

The gist of the article can be summarized with this:

It's not a party. It's a baseball game, and most of us are there to watch the baseball game. We should not have our afternoon or evening ruined by drunks who, essentially, are paying a $40 or $50 cover charge to sit in bleacher seats (or worse, stand and block everyone's view) and drink until they are plastered.

Yeah! It's not a party! It's a baseball game! The stealthy transition of the Bud Light Bleachers into a lewd and debaucherous fraternity atmosphere may have slipped past some of you, but not everyone.

We all know that as of August 15, 2009, there were no widespread problems in the Wrigley Field bleachers. Why? Because the same prominent Cubs blogger told us so:



(Names and faces have been blurred to protect the ignorant)

But things have changed. It is no longer August of 2009. It's May of 2010. The world has changed. There was an earthquake in Haiti. Google pulled out of China. We know who Jacob from LOST is, kind of. And the days of family fun in the Wrigley Field bleachers are over. We've gone from this:



to this:



A freaking zoo, people! I only wish we could go back to that innocent time back in August of 2009, just days after lovable bleacher bum Johhny Macchione kindly offered to share an Old Style with Shane Victorino. But that's a Friendly Confines that just doesn't exist anymore. Wake up, everyone. Times have changed. That was a whole 39 home games ago.

So thank you, anonymous Cubs blogger, for having the courage to stand up to these animals who have invaded Wrigley Field since the end of last season. They caught us all off guard. You wouldn't know this if you're not there every single day, but a lot can change in nine months.